How To Raise a Confident Child or Adult!
Know this… THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THEN SELF-WORTH!
How would you like to raise a child with a healthy self-esteem and confidence?
Though how do you create an strong balance of self-worth without generating an ego of entitlement? As the famous UCLA basketball coach John Wooden has always said; “it’s in the basics!” Teach them the basics of self-esteem when they’re young and they’ll never lose these skills.
- Lead by example.
80% of a child personality is formed by the time they’re 8 years old. 95% by 21 years. So using that precious first 5 years is so important. Children learn as they see, it’s called modelling. They duplicate everything they hear and see. So be mindful of your actions and words when around them. Watch your P’s & Q’s.
When YOU are confident, THEY are confident. They learn by example!
- Turn adversity into opportunity.
Life is about lessons, PERIOD! If cannot learn and grow from adversity they will they continue to fail at the important opportunities in their lives. Some liberal parents would say to this “It’s Ok to fail.” But I would say; “ its’ Ok to fail if you KNOW you can OVERCOME and achieve your results.” It’s NOT Ok to fail and give up. Life does NOT work this way and you are giving your children a huge disservice if you allow them to be Ok with losing in the things that are important in their life.
Teach them there’s always a solution to every problem IF they are willing to persevere.
Their self-esteem will grow immensely by having them look at challenges, seeing a silver lining in all negative experiences. They must KNOW they can overcome obstacles.
- Let them fall down.
By allowing them the courage and fortitude to fall down AND get back up again they learn the greatest lesson in life; THEY CAN SUCCEED!
Making things easier for your child is not the way to raise strong children. In NLP, one of our presuppositions (assumed beliefs) is “there is no failure only feedback!”
If YOU are willing to see them hurt, in pain, but help move through it with respect and strength, they grow up knowing that life can be easy by solving problems. Also, explain to the challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve over-come them to succeed.
- Focus on behavior, not the child.
All behavior has a positive intention! When you address the behavior and not the child, they learn THEY are not the one that is bad just their result. There are only bad behavior’s not bad children.
When you speak of the behavior, you’re telling the child – “I know that’s not who you are, and there’s a better person inside of you.”
- Make affirmations a habit.
Teaching them verbal affirmations are a way to pre-program there unconscious for success. They learn to HEAR those inner voices speak to them when they face adversity. Read to them, have them write out powerful messages and post them around the house, their bathroom, and their bedrooms.
The most influential affirmation you can have them recite to themselves, with EMOTION is; “I LIKE MYSELF!” When YOU say it to yourself out loud, they will learn it’s acceptable to say it themselves in school, public and most importantly their adult life.
And, yes, the secret is in making a quality decision based upon knowing your deal breakers and choosing wisely.
Do a little “sole-searching!” You will find someone who’s head over-heels for you! Remember… Relationships and NLP!
To Your Success, John James Santangelo C.Ht.
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