Create Instant Rapport!

By August 28, 2015 December 14th, 2016 Articles

Create Instant Rapport!

1.  Set Your Intention
2.  Use Your Sensory Acuity
3.  Model, Mirror and Match

Set Your Intention

Want to create massive results? It all begins with setting your daily intentions. The latest research shows they have a very powerful and significant effects on your life when you practice setting your intentions because you’re ultimately connecting with the universe’s infinite intelligence which governs all of life around us.

Scientific evidence now confirms we are in fact creating our own reality and results every moment of the day, from the time open our eyes in the morning until we fall asleep each night, and the whole process begins with your conscious and unconscious thinking. “As you think, so shall you become!”

Use Your Sensory Acuity

It’s very important to understand how people experience their internal and external world around them (preferred representational system) so they can clearly get in touch with your message. As well, you should be perceptive of changes in the other person’s physiology, tone of voice, energy that may indicate a change in their internal thoughts or emotional state.

How often do we miss important signals and brush off unconscious indicators coming from another’s physiology? We normally continue doing what we have done in the past; this is called INSANITY! Einstein;  “The definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”  We need to stop, pay attention and listen to what our internal voice, gut, or intuition is telling us… Get outside of your head and focus on them! 

When using your sensory acuity skills / observing other people, you’ll want to learn to begin to notice these things and more…

Predicates – words they use.
Eye patterns – eye accessing cues
Skin tone changes
Breathing and location

Voice tone, tempo, and rhythm
Physiology, posture and gestures.
Overall changes in energy

With sensory acuity, we only notice what we see, hear, feel, have tasted or smelled. We not what we call ‘mind read’ or project our opinion about what is going on in their world. Example: You may observe that someone crosses their arms after you say something. Most individuals would immediately jump to the conclusion that they are now ‘closed off’ or not open to hearing anything further, when in fact they could be just COLD!

Mind-reading or hallucinating, can, at times get us into trouble. Consider someone who is frustrated versus someone who is just cold and uncomfortable. All the cues may be the same but if you response with the intention that they may be closed off, how will that ultimately affect the outcome of your conversation or the results that you wanted to achieve? If you ask the other person ‘why’ they are closed off or shut down, you might be making a false judgment about them. Then, how do you think that will make THEM feel?   So be neutral, non-judgmental and open to any possibility. Flexibility is the key!

Model, Mirror and Match

Rapport is the foundation for any meaningful interaction between two or more people – rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. Which gives a person the freedom to fully express their ideas and concerns and to know that they will be respected by the other person(s). Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened to, and heard and it doesn’t mean that they have to agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world.  When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship.

The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors — body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world

For words, match predicates. If your partner is using mainly visual words, you should also use mainly visual words and similarly for auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital words. To the extent possible, you should also use the same words as the other person. For example, I may say something is ‘awesome’. In your model of the world, you may interpret ‘awesome’ as ‘outstanding’ and use this word when speaking to me. For me ‘outstanding’ may have a different meaning or evoke a different feeling than ‘awesome’. In this case, you would not be matching but mismatching my words. 

Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. Try it and let me know your results –

REMEMBER – Beliefs control biology, biology controls behavior, and behavior determines success. So, does your behavior serve you or prevent you from truly living your life?  Interested in learning to change your results and produce massive success?


Go here for our NLP practitioner training courses –

John James Santangelo PhD

Author John James Santangelo PhD

John James Santangelo PhD - nationally acclaimed speaker, author, seminar leader, and business results coach, has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. John is a foremost authority in success principles and expert in the field of communication; an NLP trainer and clinical hypnotherapist. He has worked with companies such as The Learning Annex, Los Angeles Sheriffs Dept., Mary Kay Inc, Multiple-Sclerosis Society, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Well-Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short/long term goals, increase your sales performance, or hire John for your next event, John will help you achieve that success! Visit or call (818) 879-2000

More posts by John James Santangelo PhD

Leave a Reply