3 Tips To The Perfect Relationships!

By November 6, 2015 August 7th, 2019 Articles
NLP Training blog

3 Tips To The Perfect Relationships!

1. Know Thyself
2. Choose wisely
3  Be patient, Open, most important… BE NICE!

1. Know Thyself

In the movie The Matrix, “Temet Nosce” hangs on the wall in the Oracle’s kitchen. She says it’s Latin for “Know Thyself,” and it’s what Neo has to do save his mentor’s life, become the One, and save his own.

It’s what you need to do to, if you want to live a life of purpose, and if you want to respond to your life, rather than react. Knowing thyself — it is a pickle. But it’s possible. And the Wachowski’s laid at least four clues for you to follow:

A. The Matrix cannot tell you who you are!

Neo: “I have these memories from my entire life, but… none of them really happened. What does that mean?” Trinity: “That the Matrix cannot tell you who you are.”

The Matrix is the system you were born into. It can be your bondage, or your chrysalis. But that system is there. That system is culture. It will try to convince you of who you are, how you should be making a living — that you should be “making a living.”

It will try to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong. It will tell you what to believe, whether it’s dysfunctional or not. But deep down, culture is a human construct — it cannot tell you who you are.

B. Don’t think you are, know you are!

Morpheus: “What are you waiting for? You’re faster than this. Don’t think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me!”

To believe in yourself, you have to know in yourself. If you don’t know that you can succeed, you’ll let fear, doubt, and disbelief decide for you. To be successful, you need to see yourself succeed; you need to feel it.

C. Walk the path!

Morpheus: “Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize, just as I did, there’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.”

You won’t know your path until you walk it. It may seem like a good idea to get a new job or end a relationship. You may be able to come up with all sorts of rationalizations as to why and how and when.

But none of that matters if you don’t know what you really want, what you really need, and why. If you can’t feel it, then “knowing” it does you no good. Because once you do walk the path, it may not be what you expected — what you planned for on lined paper with neat handwriting, dated and signed.

Your life is not meant to be mapped out based on what your rational mind thinks it comprehends today. Your life is meant be experienced, to be felt, to be lived.

D. There is no spoon!

Spoon boy: “Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth… there is no spoon. Then you’ll see, it is not the spoon that bends. It is only yourself.”

To truly know yourself, you must see yourself in all people, all things. It’s when you stop looking, when you doubt a connection is there — that you stop learning about yourself, and who you can be.

When something happens to you in life, you always have a choice. You either respond or you react. You either connect or you dissasociate. You either integrate or you resist. You move on, or, you get stuck… CHOOSE!

When you see the problem as being “out there,” you don’t look “in here” — where it matters, where it begins. Because you can never change what’s going on around you. But you can control what’s going on within, by making peace with your self, so that you have a chance to delve deeper into your multidimensional self.  (by Melissa Karnaze)

2. Choose Wisely

I’ve always said;  “in a relationship, the problem is never the OTHER PERSON, it’s in your choosing the wrong one!”  Years ago when I was trying to figure it all out. meaning; relationships, (Ha, that’s a joke! 😉  I came up with a metaphor. Relationships are like going grocery shopping without a list. WHAT HAPPENS?  You get ANYTHING that immediately satisfies you. Right?

Think about it. If you had a list that means you KNOW what you need and want. You go down the list and choose what’s best for you according to you being methodical and thoughtful as when you’re putting your list together.

So I surveyed hundreds of people at what they wanted in a relationship and took all that information and created 50 Characteristic Checklist. It’s simple, easy to do and most importantly FUN!  I’ve had so many individuals say once they took the time and decided what’s best for them without the pressure of being in the moment of choosing, it was the most important VALUES that came out on their list. And our Values are the things we want to match when choosing the right person.  Want to take my little checklist?  Email me and I’ll send it to you;  info@LANLP.com

3. Be Patient, Open, most important… BE NICE!

Easier said then done Yes?  Being patient is in vain in our society. We are taught we must have the B.B.D./ Bigger Better Deal.  That being said putting off instant gratification is what reaps the biggest prize. Nothing great has ever comes from jumping the gun. Relationships must mature. We must learn of ourselves and who we are when we are developing within. We create ourselves over and over again inside a healthy relationship.  Knowing thyself, knowing our path and waiting to blossom into the very best we can be is one of the most satisfying pleasures on earth.

In NLP we use the term ‘Flexibility’ as an approach to success. Be open and flexible in your attempts. Being open means you can begin to see more of the opportunities which present themselves to you each and every moment, they surround you now!  You cannot possibly see them when you are focused only on what is not working. Be patient and open your eyes, and most importantly…  BE NICE!

The young yogi student asks his master;
“Master, what are you;  are you a God?

No my son, I am not a God!

Master, are you an Angel?

No my son, I am not an Angel.

Master then what are you…


Patience makes the passage of time, sometimes intolerable and unbearable… REWARDING!   

God bless and make it your best day possible. It’s always YOUR choice!

And please let me know how you’re doing. I’d love your feedback.
AND if your interested in attending the most powerful self-development workshop in history, check out this! 

John James Santangelo PhD

Author John James Santangelo PhD

John James Santangelo PhD - nationally acclaimed speaker, author, seminar leader, and business results coach, has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. John is a foremost authority in success principles and expert in the field of communication; an NLP trainer and clinical hypnotherapist. He has worked with companies such as The Learning Annex, Los Angeles Sheriffs Dept., Mary Kay Inc, Multiple-Sclerosis Society, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Well-Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short/long term goals, increase your sales performance, or hire John for your next event, John will help you achieve that success! Visit www.LANLP.com or call (818) 879-2000

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